Spur of the Moment Suicide Poem

Waking up that morning was supposed to be normal

I wasn’t expecting the conversation to be so formal

Your brother is dead, he shot himself last night

What? Are you kidding me? I asked as I squinted in the light

I sat in silence for I don’t know how long

Was this just a dream? Did I hear them wrong?

The next few hours were just a blur

Until I saw my brother’s son looking so sweet and pure

He was only three and didn’t have a clue

But I lost it when I saw him right out of the blue.

I couldn’t stop crying, I was falling apart

I didn’t say a word; I didn’t know where to start

My brain went numb and I just went through the motion

I had a baby to protect from the commotion

She would never get to know her uncle Brian

But maybe it will save her a lot of cryin

He was such a good person that took a wrong road

I wish I could have helped to lighten his load.

Suicide leaves family with a lot of guilt and sadness

It takes forever to get through the madness.

I have two more brothers that are still alive

I pray for them so they can thrive

My heart goes out to my mother

She lost her son, a pain like no other.

Time will heal all wounds they say

It has been twenty-one years and it still feels like yesterday

All of the feelings are not front and center driving me mad

But they are always there and they always make me sad.

I remember the good things about him and how he made me laugh a lot

When I am sad I look back at those happy memories and they really hit the spot.

So during the day when you’re feeling down

Think of the best times with your loved one and laugh like a clown!

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A Sign of Old Age????

Hey Everyone, I am having a bit of a dilemma today. As the big 4-0 approaches quickly, I still think that I am doing well. Nothing too obvious except for the grey hair, weight gain and some wrinkles. I haven’t hit the point of failing illness or easily injured…until today!!

This is going to sound ridiculous, but this morning when I was stepping into the shower, I had forgotten that the girls are home and shower/bathe with baby oil, and as soon as I stepped in, down I went. Nothing graceful about it at all. BAM! Right down and my right leg has three huge bruises, everything is sore and I can barely bend my knee. Seriously? One fall can do all of this?

I can remember falling down a flight of stairs and just bounce right back up like its nothing, but now I can’t handle a little slip? I never used to bruise very easily either and now my leg looks like it has been beaten with a hammer or something.

An eye opener for sure. I am not scared or worried about aging, I actually look forward to each stage of my life, except for this kind of crap. A once little innocent fall turns into a major catastrophe is not my idea of aging gracefully. Blah.

I better go…my back is starting to hurt now. ha ha

New Blog Site…

Hey Everyone, I just wanted to catch you all up on my life. First of all, my poor little newborn niece, Brooklyn, was admitted to the hospital with RSV and pneumonia. Her little four-week old body was full of wires and tubes. It was so hard to watch her struggle to breath. Thank God for the oxygen they had her on. But she did improve after about a week or so, and was discharged yesterday. My poor little baby girl. 😦

Second, I have not had time to write-up any of my “How to’s”, but hopefully soon. (maybe in time for next Christmas lol)

Third, I was told to set up a blog for my writings. So I now have another blog at: http://angelagodbout.wordpress.com/ That will be used for my “author” stuff. Apparently this was recommended to do so I can be found easily. I have put up all of my writings that are for sale and I threw in two of my free ones, and then I added a link to my Fiverr gig. (which has been going absolutely amazing) NOTE: I have other types of writing for sale under a pen name that is not listed on my new blog, but if any of you are interested in that sort of thing, then just send me a private message and I will tell you the name that they are under. 😉

And last, I have a novelette that is almost finished and I have already laid out the ground work for a full on novel that I will be starting by or at the beginning of February. I am a little scared, but excited at the same time.

That is all for now. I hope you all are doing well and I hope that you have a great night!!

 

Happy New Year

I just wanted to stop in and say Happy New Year to all of you!! 2012 is behind us and so many things have happened. There have been bad and there were good. But as long as we all know that “Everything happens for a reason” we will get through it all.

I am looking forward to 2013 and how my life will change with each given day. It won’t always be fun or even good, but I will make the best of every situation, well, I will at least try.

I have made two New Years resolutions and I hope I can follow through on them. My first is probably common, but it is to lose weight and get my butt back in shape. I am almost 40 and I would like to do what I can to improve my health starting today. Not a diet, more of a lifestyle change. In small amounts of course. I can’t be crazy here. lol

My second one is to write more for myself. This may sound odd to some of you, considering I write probably 8 or 9 hours a day, but that is for other people. I spent the weekend before Christmas writing thoughts and feelings for my family and friends and it felt so good. I love writing from the heart. I want to do more of that.

So those are my two resolutions. What are all of you pledging to do?

DIY Christmas Gifts?

So here we are five days before Christmas and a ton of homemade gifts to do and I haven’t even started!!!

I have the ideas and pictures and steps and everything except for the time to just do them. I thought that working from home gave us more time. That would be a big fat NO! At least not for me…yet.

My writing gigs have been going amazingly well and I just keep getting slammed with orders, which is a good thing for sure, it just makes it very hard to get anything else done.

And of course when I do have down time, I am usually cleaning or going to get that new baby niece of mine to take them one place or another. Gosh I love Brooklyn!! She is just the sweetest little baby!!

So anyway, I will be starting all of my DIY gifts tomorrow if it kills me. And as long as I remember I will be taking step by step pics and/or instructions to post here. Probably won’t get posted until after Christmas though unless I get an amazing burst of energy or something. We will see how things go.

Alright, I need to get to bed so I will have an early start. Good night all. Sweet dreams!!

 

I Would Like to Introduce to You: Brooklyn Michonne!!!

Brooklyn 12-01-12My Great Niece was born in the wee hours of the morning of December 1st, 2012. 6lbs 12oz and 20″ long. She is so beautiful and precious!!

Her mom, Megan, is also doing amazing. I am so very proud of her. I never thought that I could be more proud of her until I have watched her in the past week go from a young woman into a beautiful, loving little Mamma.

We brought Megan and Brooklyn home from the hospital on Monday night and Megan’s mom stayed with her until Thursday and then we picked them all up and brought them here with us until we just brought them back to their apartment this afternoon. This will be their first night at their home, alone, as a new little family.

As soon as my daughter and I left their apartment I wanted to cry. I miss my baby Brooklyn so much. Of course, my work has come to a complete standstill with a newborn in the house, but that is alright. I at least made all of my deadlines. And boy I forgot how much I miss rocking babies. She loves to be snuggled and cuddled.

Megan is breastfeeding, but she has been pumping due to some latching issues, which helped me because I have been able to feed her. It helped mom and dad too because Great Auntie kept telling them to go to bed and get some rest while they have the help. Yes, my daughter and I pulled an all-nighter. Well, my daughter did two all-nighters – I could only handle one – especially since it was my second in a week (the night of her labor we never got home until 5:00am).

So, if you all didn’t know this, my husband and I raised Megan. She moved in with us when she was 10  think and we were big in her life from birth up until then. And since then she has been like our own child. So, because I do have my own children that will have kids some day, I didn’t think it would be right to have Brooklyn call us “grandparents” so my husband came up with his own little nick name…Gubby. lol Sounds funny, I know. But his name is Bruce, and he is now Great Uncle Bruce so they all came up with GUB, but he thinks it sounds better as Gubby. lol

So I got a little jealous and wanted a special name as well. We came up with GA GA. (Great Auntie and/or Great Angela) lol whatever. So we are Gubby and Ga Ga. It may sound a little ridiculous, but we had a lot of fun calling out these names all weekend. Ya, we are all a little crazy around here, but babies do that to us.

Oh ya, and to those of you that do not get the middle name, Michonne, that is a name off of all of our favorite television shows on AMC. The Walking Dead. Michonne is a strong warrior of sorts on that show and Megan and Jeff love the name; and it really does sound good with Brooklyn.

Alright, I will close up for now. But that is how I have spent the past week of my life. In baby heaven. I can’t wait to see her again soon!!